Real Girls F.A.R.T.
After a nervous breakdown and mental health diagnosis, Achea Redd needed help. She found it by finding her voice through writing on her blog, Real Girls F.A.R.T. (Fearless, Authentic, Rescuer, & Trailblazer). On the occasion of her upcoming keynote at the Columbus YWCA’s fundraiser Activists and Agitators, she sat down to talk about her work, the stigma of mental health in African American and spiritual communities, and how to talk to kids about trauma and mental illness.
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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Confluence Cast presented by Columbus Underground. We are a weekly Columbus-centric podcast focusing on the civics, lifestyle, entertainment, and people of our city. I'm your host, Tim Fulton. This week, I sat down with author, speaker, advocate, and mother, Akia Redd. She's the founder of the blog Real Girls FART, which despite its name, has transformed into a movement around the stigmas of mental health. We talk about the evolution of her voice, the stigma of mental health in African American and spiritual communities, and how to talk to your kids about trauma and mental illness. Akia will be the keynote speaker at the upcoming YWCA event, Activists and Agitators, on October 17th. You can get more information on what we discussed today in the show notes for this episode at theconfluencecast.com. Also, the Confluence Cast is on Patreon. Find out how to support this podcast on our website, theconfluencecast.com, or at patreon.com/confluence. Enjoy the interview. Sitting down here with Akia Redd, author, speaker, activist, advocate. Akia, how are you? I'm wonderful. How are you, Tim? I'm doing well. I'm doing well. Akia is the founder of, I apologize if I giggle at all, Real Girls FART. Uh, FART is an acronym. Uh, Akia, forgive me, remind us what, or remind me what the acronym stands for. Sure. It's Fearless Authentic Rescuer and Trailblazer.
Okay. And so talk to me about the organization and what, what Real Girls FART is. Okay. So initially, about three, three and a half years ago, I had a nervous breakdown. Okay. And, um, that led me to receive a diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder and depression. And I started blogging.
Okay. And the blog was called Real Girls FART. Um, and initially it wasn't an acronym. It was really just the, um, emphasis on us as women having imperfections. Okay. And I looked at my mental illness as something that was like an imperfection, and it was something that I was gonna talk about. It did not become an acronym until probably six months later.
Okay. It's a thing that nobody really talks about or like- Yeah ... it's slightly uncomfortable to talk about. Absolutely.
And so you're equating, uh, passing gas- Yeah ... with mental health- Well-
... and mental health issues really. Right. Especially, like, in the African American communities. Mm-hmm. Um, and then, you know, I was presented with a double-edged sword. Like, I, not only am I African American, but I was also raised as a preacher's kid.
Okay. So in the religious community and in African American communities, we, you know, pray it away or we don't bring those types of things, um, to the forefront to discuss at all. Um, and additionally, no matter what culture you're from, as a woman, uh, even going back to, like, being a young girl, you are taught not to say certain things, not to do certain things, um, that because they're inappropriate for a young girl to do or say certain things. Okay. And so to me, I feel like I was breaking stigma in, in both ways really.
Okay. T- and then so it was initially sort of you, uh, having an outlet for things that you wanted to express and talk about how it evolved. Yeah. It, so initially, like I, again, I used it, I used the blogging. I'm a formally trained writer. Okay. So when I went to college, I, I graduated with a g- degree in public relations. Did a lot of writing, a lot of editing. So I was getting back to my roots w- as far as writing is concerned, and I wanted to talk about the diagnosis. I wanted to talk about my journey through therapy.
Mm-hmm. Um, and then also, like, very openly about my decision to go on medication. Okay. Um, and so the more I discussed these types of things openly on a public forum, women all over the place were just like, "Oh my gosh, keep it coming. Please keep talking about this." And in particular, women that look like me, you know?
Mm-hmm. And, and it was, um, it was really scary. It was exciting, but it was scary. And then as we moved forward and I continued to talk about life and motherhood and how my diagnosis impacted even those things- Mm-hmm ... um, it evolved. Literally, I went to bed, I joke about this, but I literally went to bed a blogger and woke up a full-time entrepreneur. I had no idea that it was gonna evolve into the magnitude that it has evolved into.
Yeah. I mean, because three years ago, it's not that long in terms of- No ... how the internet works. No.
You, you weren't the first blogger. No, not at all. I didn't even, I didn't even know what blog... Like, I was like, "What, what is, how do I blog?" Like, "What is the platform?" Like, I didn't even know how to use WordPress. Okay. And so-
What were the... How did people sort of discover you, and how did that happen in terms of the community building up around you? Well, I mean, so my, um, my father, uh, was a pastor. Mm-hmm. A very well-known pastor in the city-
Okay ... uh, here in Columbus, 'cause I'm a local here. Mm-hmm. And, um, so I had a lot of people from that particular part of my life that, you know, once they saw me pop up, like, on social media or whatever, like, they w- you know, started to follow me and started reading some things.
'Cause you weren't shy about sharing these writings. No, I wasn't. Not at all. And then I think from a na- more national, international level, um, my husband is a former, former NBA player. Okay. Um, he played for the Milwaukee Bucks and then his last year for the Phoenix Suns.
Okay. He's a very famous Buckeye, Michael Redd. Oh. Yeah.
See, I didn't know. Okay. Yeah. So that, you know, that also, um... Because he's not on social media. Okay. And he is very private. So that was a very interesting dynamic for me to, like, come full force, like-
"I'm gonna do this" ... "I'm sharing it." Right. Yeah. And so it was a very, um, very interesting thing.
Obviously, that's been resolved at this point. But how, how did that- Talk to me about how that conversation went and of like, have you always been sort of outspoken and out there and, like, that's the dichotomy of your relationship, and so he was just sort of like, "All right, this is what Akeya's doing"? Yeah. Or was it a little bit more hard? Yeah. Well, I think it was-- I think inside I've always been this super outspoken, you know, young woman.
Okay. And I think that I've always been taught to shrink myself and dial that back. Okay. And so-
And that goes back to the external forces that, like church and- Church and- ... being a woman of color and- Yeah.
Okay. And, you know, in, in the religious community, you're also taught that, you know, women are to be quiet and we're not to be loud, and so that was very different than how I was. Like- Okay ... I wasn't wired that way, but yet I was being taught to be that way. And so one of the things that actually attracted me and Michael, really me to him, is that he looked at me and saw me for who I was, and he encouraged me to use my voice.
Mm-hmm. I don't think he actually thought it would come in this form. Mm-hmm. And I don't think that he foresaw these types of struggles and, you know, I didn't even know. I went undiagnosed for years. So, um, but I think that it was something that he always saw in me and knew was gonna happen. He just didn't know when or how.
Okay. And, and I'm sorry, are you talking about the blog and sort of the self-expression- The blog and- ... or are you talking- ... you know, just my advocacy, my activism.
Okay. You know, I'm very passionate about whatever I put my mind to do and, um, he knows that I'm very justice-oriented. Okay. And I've always been like that. Like, that's not something that's just happened overnight. That's just how I've always been hardwired. Um, and I think coming into who I am as a woman, and I think the diagnosis and then realizing that life is really short. And part of-
Mm-hmm ... the reason why I struggled in silence for so long and I went undiagnosed for so long, and why the illness got to the point where I had a nervous breakdown, was because I was not using my voice. Okay. And do you see, maybe this is self-evident, but it-- Was the blogging sort of part of your therapy of like, "This is how I'm gonna get this out"? You know, some people go to therapy. Yeah.
Obviously, you were going to therapy. Right. But that was sort of an additional part of it. Yeah. So my thought process was, "Okay, I'm going to go to therapy," and then for the hundreds of thousands of people, whoever, if even if it was 10 people-
Mm-hmm ... that was gonna read this blog, not everybody is gonna go to therapy. Okay. And so I said, "Well, at least, like, the lessons that I'm learning in therapy and the things maybe I can either, one, help kinda nudge them to go to therapy-
Mm-hmm ... or two, help them with what they're struggling with so that, you know, I'm that one that is that example for them." So it's not necessarily a therapeutic thing for you, but it's meant to empower and help others. Right. Always.
Okay. Yep. So walk me through then how it became not just Passing Gas, but became the acronym. Is that sort of the, a not, basically a business opportunity that you were like- Yeah, yeah
... "Okay, here..." A- a- and maybe even a way to define your work- Right ... as you have, you know, you're always gonna struggle to an extent, I imagine. Right.
But, uh, talk to me about that and how that evolved. So I'll never forget that day, actually. My husband and kids and I were on our way to our spring break vacation, and we were in the airport. Okay. And I remember looking at, um, one of the, one of my Facebook followers from way back, and it was a guy, and he said, "Hey, I know what this stands for." And so he kind of like gave me these four words-
Mm-hmm ... that didn't really necessarily resonate with me. Okay. But it put a little seed in my head, and it was just like, man, that would be cool if it were an acronym and that these women could actually have a word or words to hold onto.
Mm-hmm. And so I, um, sat down with my family in the airport and I said, "Okay, guys," I said, "We have an hour." Let's brainstorm. I said, "Let's, let's brainstorm." And at the time, I mean, think about it. So my son is, what, 12 now. My daughter is eight and a half, so just subtract three and a half years from that.
Yeah. They were very young. Yeah. And, um-
And did they have any concept of what you were doing? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, they thought it was-- They th- actually thought it was hilarious.
Okay. As kids would, but I think they had mad respect, if you will, for just my boldness. So, and I'm sorry, this was pretty early on- Yeah
... in the, in, in your blogging. Even in my treatment- Right ... and in my blog. I mean, I was newly diagnosed.
Okay. And I was, like, new to the medication and new to... Wasn't necessarily new to therapy. I had done therapy for about sh- probably three and a half years undiagnosed. I mean, she- Okay ... I think she knew.
Okay. But she, and she did tell me, you know, "I think we're gonna have to probably seek some medical treatment- Yeah ... for your anxiety stuff." But she never gave it a title.
Okay. And so that allowed me, I was a little bit in denial because of, again, my upbringing- Right ... um, until I couldn't be in denial anymore.
Okay. So even with therapy, it still sort of manifested- Oh, yeah, yeah ... more. Absolutely.
Continued to manifest. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. Um, because life was still happening and, and on top of, like, the trauma that I had as a child. And so I always say that if you don't deal with life, life deals with you.
Yeah. And so that was what happened to me. Um, but we sat in the airport and we brainstormed. Uh-huh. And we came up with fearless, authentic, rescuer, and trailblazer, and mainly those four words because it defines the journey that even from diagnosis until that point-
Okay ... of definition of the acronym- Yeah ... and even, even now, the work that I continue to do, first and foremost, being fearless in my approach to, one, share my story, and to be fearless to have a platform called Real Girls Fart.
Mm-hmm. I mean, that takes some-- That's pretty gutsy. Mm-hmm. You know? And obviously, I mean, nobody's knocking my door down to buy it from me, so
That's 'cause you're owning it. You know. But that's what-- Exactly. So- Um, and then the, the authenticity and the realness, I think, behind me as I do share my story and as I talk to women about owning their story. Mm-hmm. And the rescuer, a lot of times that word gets a negative kind of representation because we're always saying you can't go in and you can't, like, rescue people-
Mm-hmm ... and it gets a negative kind of thing. But I look at being a rescuer as something that is not negative. It's positive actually, because when you're on an airplane, they tell you before you can actually secure the mask of other people- Mm-hmm ... that you put yours on, on first, right?
Yeah. So you have to first rescue yourself, right? Get yourself together, and then you go back and you help somebody else. Mm-hmm. And there's nothing negative about that. There's only positive I see in that.
Right. And, um, I think it only becomes negative when you are helping other people and not serving yourself first. Okay. So is the res- would you say then that the rescuer is not really even about other people or is, is there an aspect of that? I think it's, I think it has this duality where I think it's about first rescuing yourself-
Mm-hmm ... getting yourself the help that you need, and then you go and you strengthen yourself enough to then go and lift your sister or your brother up. And then once that's done, we all come back together and we can blaze a trail. We can do something that's never been done before. Okay. And so that's where the acronym came from.
So even in, in this-- Thank you for making this segue for me. Even in sort of that self-empowerment journey, there is a community around you. 170%. And that's where almost the R and the T come from. Yes.
Okay. Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. You-- I would be, I would be a hot mess right now and not where I am at all today if I did not recognize my tribe- Mm-hmm ... that surrounded me. And the interesting thing about it is, is that what I'm even learning and journeying forward and kind of diving deeper even into my work-
Mm-hmm ... is that the tribe that I had three and a half, four years ago when I first got diagnosed, and the tribe that I have around me now or that's surrounding me now- Mm-hmm ... it, it can look different.
Yeah. As we evolve and as we grow, I think sometimes, like, people can got, kinda get caught up on, you know, "Well, I don't want this to change," and the, their attachments become so, like, clingy and unhealthy. And we have to understand that as we evolve and as we change and as we find our voice and who we are- Mm-hmm ... and become empowered, our tribe and our community will evolve with us.
Okay. And so that sort of le- because-- So you put out a book this summer. Yeah. "Be Free, Be You." Yeah.
And a lot of that, it seems, at least from what I've read of it, is about relationships too. Yeah. Right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Can you talk to me about the inspiration for the b- I mean, does it talk about your mental health journey as well? Mm-hmm. Talk-- Give me, give me the pitch on the book. Well, yeah, it does talk a lot about my mental health journey. I, I use a lot of humor and I, I talk a lot about my personal life-
Mm-hmm ... growing up, because I wanted to really set the stage for individuals to understand, like, you know, I, I do have-- There is a biological component to- Okay ... my mental illness.
Mm-hmm. Like, I understand that, like, everything in my life right now, um, is beautiful. Mm-hmm. But, like, the moment that I try to, like, go off of my medication, not so beautiful.
Okay. So I do understand that there are like, there's like this balancing act and where I, I have some trauma stuff, um, and then I also have a biological component. Mm-hmm. So in the book, I don't focus, like, too much attention on one or the other. I try to, like, merge the two, and I talk about how it... Really, I do that because I want people to understand that it doesn't matter really where the mental disorder or illness comes from. If it's there-
Mm-hmm ... like, let's go to work and let's deal with it. And for me, um, in the book, relationships, because I, I think all of us as humans are just relational beings. We all have a need- Yeah ... to relate to each other-
Yeah ... and, and be related to. And, um, for me, a lot of the, the experiences that I had that were negative were as a resu- of a result of, you know, failed relationships. Mm-hmm. And, um, in all honesty, n-me not using my voice as, not only as a woman, but as a person, as a human-
Mm-hmm ... um, in those relationships to say, "Hey, like, this doesn't feel good. This is not serving me right." And what happens is, and what happened to me, is that as I lived in silence, that affected me to a place where whatever was biologically not connecting the right way- Mm-hmm ... it actually traumatized me even further.
Okay. And so I talk about a lot of that in the book. I talk about... I do use a lot of, um, scripture references just because for those that are listening that may not know my background, I'm a preacher's kid. Yeah. And so as a part of my journey, for me, faith has been, um, a bittersweet thing for me.
Yeah. Like, I grew up in it, and that-- And, and I'm not gonna lie, like, the church and faith, like, traumatized me a whole lot. Okay. And so as I, um, went through what I went through and, and got diagnosed and none of what I learned in church helped me at that point-
Okay ... I got really bitter and really angry at God. And then somehow in the process of all of the therapy and the medication and the healing and realizing that it wasn't God, it was, like, people's versions of God- Mm-hmm ... and how they presented him to me. And so that's why I use so many scriptures because I'm like, "Okay, this is what this means to me. This is how it relates to me." But I also give a caveat in the book. I say, "Man, if you're not a religious person, a spiritual person, just look past that because there's so much more In-depth kind of information you can take away from the book besides just the scripture.
And did you keep a relationship with the church while this was all going on, or did you sort of... It sounds like you're back with the church now. I'm just curious if sort of it was a time outside of the church and then you realized, "Oh, I can be there," or are you talking about sort of just an evolving relation- Not, I'm not demeaning it at all- No, no, no, not at all ... but an evolving relationship. No. I think for me it was more so an evolving relationship. I am not, you know, affiliated with any church-
Okay ... um, right now. Um, my husband and I do, like, what we call, like, a small group- Mm-hmm ... from time to time, and we meet and we talk about life and, you know, the Bible may come up, it may not come up-
Yeah ... but we just talk about life. And to me, community, fellowshipping with each other, is really what it's all about, showing love- Mm-hmm ... and inclusion of people. I think that's really what it's all about. And so, um, I don't, I don't necessarily call mys- I'm not a religious person.
Okay. I just know that I do believe in God. I'm a person of faith and- Well, and you reference scripture in your book. Yeah. And I-
I mean, it's, I- Yeah. You are a religious person. Well, right.
You're just not a member of a church. Not a member of a church. Right. And I'm not... And I think for me when I say a religious person, I look at it like sometimes religion or religious person can be associated with, like, this dogma-
Mm-hmm ... of like, you cannot, you should not. And that's why I kinda try to separate myself from that because for me, my relationship to the scripture is from a evolving relationship that I personally have with God, not from what I learned in the church. Right. That's interesting. So I wanted to circle back on something you referenced earlier with your kids. Like, they knew what you were doing. Yeah.
And, you know, I just, full disclosure, you know, my mother had mental health issues and, like, that was something I remember very specifically when that was presented to me- Yeah ... as like, this is what I'm going through. Mm-hmm.
This is, this is the trauma aspect of it. This is the medical aspect of it. Exactly. And that was super important- Yeah
... and, and helpful to learn. I'm curious how that conversation happened in your house. Well, it, it sounds very similar- Okay ... to the conversation that your mom had with you. And, um, my, both of my kids, um, are, you know, diagnosed with attention deficit disorder, which is, you know, obviously it's a learning disability.
Mm-hmm. It's not really a mental, you know, health disorder per se. Yeah. That it can kind of, you know, have some anxiety and things like that. Um, but my son actually, you know, middle school is... I, I've never met anybody who's ever said, "I love middle school." So middle school has been, you know, rough.
Yeah. And it, and it, you know, from as long as I can remember, it's always been rough. So he, um, he went through his own stuff. Mm-hmm. And I started seeing, um, some things surface with him that made me say, "Huh, I probably need to go get him, you know, check- checked out." And so-
Yeah ... that caused me to have even a, a more deep dive with him about the mental health discussion and like, "How are you feeling today?" Mm-hmm. And like, you know, any thoughts of this, any thoughts of that-
Yeah ... hurting yourself, you know. Just because with Real Gurlz fart, the platform, we're trying to turn this into a dinner table conversation, right? Yeah. Like, this is just an everyday thing. Like, this happens just like we talk to kids about diabetes and heart disease.
Yeah. We wanna be able to talk to them about mental illness. Yeah. And, um, and as we start to see the statistics rise, like, that's gonna be an even more important conversation. And then also, not just the mental illness aspect of it, but the importance of self-care-
Mm-hmm ... loving themselves, finding their voices, using their voices in appropriate ways. Yeah. Well, and the initiative at Nationwide Children's Hospital is a testament to that as well. Right.
On Our Sleeves. On Our Sleeves? Is that what it's called? Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah. Okay. Mm-hmm. Good job.
Oh, thanks. I remember numbers, too. Um, I guess sort, I guess sort of what I'm asking is, is did they get it and did they understand it? Yes. They, they did. Even that young. Yeah, they did. Um, one of the things that I was very careful... Vocabulary with children is everything.
Yep. So, but we also can't treat children like they're idiots and that they don't know anything. Trust and believe that they know. Like, when people, when parents ask me, "Well, like, how do you know when it's the right time?" Well, then you've already passed it. Okay. If you're asking me that question of like, how do I know when it's the right time, well, now is the right time. You've... It's been the right time.
Yeah. So I say that to say that with vocabulary with my children, like, I let them know that there's a difference between depression and sadness. There's a difference- Mm-hmm ... between being nervous and anxiety.
Yep. So we have to, like, use proper terminology for things- Yeah ... so that when they come home from school and they say, um, "You know, I had a really bad day," it- they know the difference between, "And I'm sad."
Yeah. But they also understand that if that sadness or that numbness or that feeling of, like, nothing continues- Mm-hmm ... that that's something that like, okay, um, this is depression.
Yeah. That's what that looks like. So I think just being very open with them, very, um, particular- So you're saying regular, rather than basically sugarcoat it- Oh, God, yeah
... and say like, "What's wrong with Mom?" "Well, Mommy's sad." Yeah, that's the worst thing- No ... you could do because-
Yeah ... it, it reinforces the stigma- Mm-hmm ... and the lack of education surrounding mental illness.
Yeah. Exactly. Absolutely. So we're here actually on the occasion of the event that you're, uh, gonna be speaking at. Yeah. October 17th, uh, Activists and Agitators at YWCA. So excited.
Which is their annual evening fundraiser. Mm-hmm. Can you sort of talk about what folks can expect at that event and what, what it's all about? Sure. So, well, I mean, I'll be there first and foremost, as you said.
The Akia Red. Tell people what they can expect at the event as a whole, in addition to your keynote. Yeah. Okay. So on the evening, I'll be talking about how women can find their voices, not only, like, within the community. I know that that's a huge aspect, obviously, because it's called Activists and Agitators. Mm-hmm. And I do see myself as somebody who is activating and agitating in the community. Um, but I, I do think we also want women to understand f- after this evening, how they can find their voices in their own personal lives-
Okay ... in their own spheres of influence. And it doesn't have to be necessarily be on a big stage or a huge community thing. How can I find my voice in my relationship with my partner? How can I find my voice in my space with my kids or in my classroom with my students? Like, whatever space that these event attendees are occupying- Mm-hmm ... how can they find their voice? How can they let it out and into the community and make change that really matters? Um, and I think it's gonna be amazing because I'm also gonna be surrounded with other fearlessly powerful women.
Okay. Uh, I mean, who doesn't love, like, Jeni from Jeni's Ice Cream, right? Like- Jeni Britton Bauer ... I wish she's bringing, like, some, you know, ice cream samples. That would be awesome as, like, some swag. Like-
Mm-hmm ... some Jeni swag. But then also Fran from Rise, Sister Rise, right? And I've never had the, the privilege of meeting her, but I, like, started stalking her on social. Mm-hmm. And, like, her initiative is absolutely amazing. And then also Nina West will be performing and also will be speaking as well. And I f- I think the overall, again, theme of the night is how all of us have found our voices-
Mm-hmm ... and how we've been so lucky to have been able to let 'em out in the community to make change. Yeah. And so i- I assume that speak- this is not your first rodeo in terms of, like, speaking at an event. No.
Okay. How- Not, well, uh, mmm, outside of church, yes. Oh, okay. So- Yeah
... 'cause I was gonna ask how else has the, this, I'm gonna call it a movement- Mm-hmm ... how else has it manifested in addition to there's the blog- Yeah
... there's the social media interaction- Mm-hmm ... that you do. There's the book. Yeah.
But this is sort of the biggest- The- ... public appearance. Yes. As far as me and Real Girls Fart being featured as, like, the feature speaker-
Yeah ... yes. Which makes YWCA such an amazing partner, because we've joined up, like, synced up, and our initiatives are very much aligned. Yeah. Now, um, this past summer with Nationwide Children's On Our Sleeves, I was the keynote for the, um, Woody Hayes-
Okay ... and the, uh, Pay It Forward Gala. But that was more so focused on, you know, the On Our Sleeves. This particular event on October 17th is like, okay, YWCA- It's about empowering women ... Akia Red.
Right. Like, we're coming together. We're gonna help empower these women and, like, set them on fire, and that's really what it's about. Great. And so what, are there additional things that, the way this movement is manifesting then? I- is it pre- Uh, am I hitting the three legs of the stool, I guess? Is it, you know, the blog, social media- Yeah
... and the book? Yeah. The blog, social media, the book. Book two will be out in the fall. Oh, wow. Yeah, so basically what I've, what I've done is after experiencing what I experienced with my son, who's a middle schooler, and the stories that I hear from the women-
Mm-hmm ... that have, you know, kids that are Michael's age, my son's age- Yeah ... and they're girls, "Oh my gosh, my daughter," you know. And, and the book is not overly complicated to where a middle schooler can read it.
Okay. However, in the middle school edition of the book, because we know that mental illness, those diagnoses tend to spike at the age 12. Yeah. And in particular, eating disorders, you see a huge rise in that.
Okay. So I thought that it would be just amazing for us to be able to write a book that focuses more in depth on specific things and really honing in on that vocabulary, which, what we talked about- Okay ... a few minutes ago, um, to give these girls vocabulary, wording, also affirmations, activities.
So this is a book f- this is not a parenting book. This is a book for- No, this is a middle- Okay ... for, specifically for middle school girls.
Got it. And there will be girls that, I mean, as we see statistics starting to drop lower in the age range, there can be girls that, you know, have a, a higher reading level that could probably, like- Yeah ... decide to read it if they were 9. But specifically, we're focusing on girls probably between the ages of 12, 15.
Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's great. That's great. Yeah. So.
Cool. So because of the book that I started writing for middle schooler- Mm-hmm ... or middle school girls, it also set me up to start this foundation called the Real Girls Foundation.
Okay. Which is a nonprofit, obviously, form of Real Girls Fart, but it is very separate, you know. Okay. Again, but it just, um, I did have that idea to start that because I wanted to be able to provide programming for middle school girls to tie in with the book that will be released in the fall.
Okay. Which is another great thing that aligns me with the YWCA as well, because they've just revamped their program, Bright Futures, and that is specifically for middle school girls as well. Okay. So we are hoping that you will see more of us together in the future.
Fantastic. And so what's the, is the funding from the book going into the foundation? Like, how's that? Yeah, so pretty much, um, what you're talking about with Real Girls Fart, right? I'm talking about the Real Girls- And the Real Girls Foundation
... Foundation, yeah. Yeah. So one, we haven't decided that yet. Okay. We haven't talked about the details of that yet and what our partnership will look like in terms of Bright Futures, but, um, and Real Girls Foundation. But I think that We're gonna have a lot of great synergy where that is concerned.
Cool. That makes sense that you're raising funds for your foundation. Where do the funds for the e- that evening on October 17th go? So the funding for the Activists and Agitators go to the Bright Futures program and also their other program called the Leadership for Social Change. Okay. Which is for women particularly just starting out their careers.
Okay. So both very wonderful causes. I'm excited to be a part of it. Well, and certainly aligned with what you're doing, so. Yeah, I can't be more excited. It's amazing.
Good. Akia, thank you so much for your time. Thank you for having me, Tim. Thank you for listening to the Confluence Cast presented by Columbus Underground. Again, you can get more information on what we discussed today in the show notes for this episode at theconfluencecast.com. Please rate, subscribe, share this episode of the Confluence Cast with your friends, family, contacts, enemies, your favorite blogger. If you're interested in sponsoring the Confluence Cast, get in touch with us. We can be reached by email at info@theconfluencecast.com. Our theme music was composed by Benji Robinson. Our producer is Philip Cogley. I'm your host, Tim Fulton. Have a great week.
Transcript5,948 words
Tim Fulton Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Confluence Cast presented by Columbus Underground. We are a weekly Columbus-centric podcast focusing on the civics, lifestyle, entertainment, and people of our city. I'm your host, Tim Fulton. This week, I sat down with author, speaker, advocate, and mother, Akia Redd. She's the founder of the blog Real Girls FART, which despite its name, has transformed into a movement around the stigmas of mental health. We talk about the evolution of her voice, the stigma of mental health in African American and spiritual communities, and how to talk to your kids about trauma and mental illness. Akia will be the keynote speaker at the upcoming YWCA event, Activists and Agitators, on October 17th. You can get more information on what we discussed today in the show notes for this episode at theconfluencecast.com. Also, the Confluence Cast is on Patreon. Find out how to support this podcast on our website, theconfluencecast.com, or at patreon.com/confluence. Enjoy the interview. Sitting down here with Akia Redd, author, speaker, activist, advocate. Akia, how are you?
Akia Redd I'm wonderful. How are you, Tim?
Tim Fulton I'm doing well. I'm doing well. Akia is the founder of, I apologize if I giggle at all, Real Girls FART. Uh, FART is an acronym. Uh, Akia, forgive me, remind us what, or remind me what the acronym stands for.
Akia Redd Sure. It's Fearless Authentic Rescuer and Trailblazer.
Tim Fulton Okay. And so talk to me about the organization and what, what Real Girls FART is.
Akia Redd Okay. So initially, about three, three and a half years ago, I had a nervous breakdown.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd And, um, that led me to receive a diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder and depression. And I started blogging.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd And the blog was called Real Girls FART. Um, and initially it wasn't an acronym. It was really just the, um, emphasis on us as women having imperfections.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd And I looked at my mental illness as something that was like an imperfection, and it was something that I was gonna talk about. It did not become an acronym until probably six months later.
Tim Fulton Okay. It's a thing that nobody really talks about or like-
Akia Redd Yeah
Tim Fulton ... it's slightly uncomfortable to talk about.
Akia Redd Absolutely.
Tim Fulton And so you're equating, uh, passing gas-
Akia Redd Yeah
Tim Fulton ... with mental health-
Akia Redd Well-
Tim Fulton ... and mental health issues really.
Akia Redd Right. Especially, like, in the African American communities.
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm.
Akia Redd Um, and then, you know, I was presented with a double-edged sword. Like, I, not only am I African American, but I was also raised as a preacher's kid.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd So in the religious community and in African American communities, we, you know, pray it away or we don't bring those types of things, um, to the forefront to discuss at all. Um, and additionally, no matter what culture you're from, as a woman, uh, even going back to, like, being a young girl, you are taught not to say certain things, not to do certain things, um, that because they're inappropriate for a young girl to do or say certain things.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd And so to me, I feel like I was breaking stigma in, in both ways really.
Tim Fulton Okay. T- and then so it was initially sort of you, uh, having an outlet for things that you wanted to express and talk about how it evolved.
Akia Redd Yeah. It, so initially, like I, again, I used it, I used the blogging. I'm a formally trained writer.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd So when I went to college, I, I graduated with a g- degree in public relations. Did a lot of writing, a lot of editing. So I was getting back to my roots w- as far as writing is concerned, and I wanted to talk about the diagnosis. I wanted to talk about my journey through therapy.
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm.
Akia Redd Um, and then also, like, very openly about my decision to go on medication.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd Um, and so the more I discussed these types of things openly on a public forum, women all over the place were just like, "Oh my gosh, keep it coming. Please keep talking about this." And in particular, women that look like me, you know?
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm.
Akia Redd And, and it was, um, it was really scary. It was exciting, but it was scary. And then as we moved forward and I continued to talk about life and motherhood and how my diagnosis impacted even those things-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... um, it evolved. Literally, I went to bed, I joke about this, but I literally went to bed a blogger and woke up a full-time entrepreneur. I had no idea that it was gonna evolve into the magnitude that it has evolved into.
Tim Fulton Yeah. I mean, because three years ago, it's not that long in terms of-
Akia Redd No
Tim Fulton ... how the internet works.
Akia Redd No.
Tim Fulton You, you weren't the first blogger.
Akia Redd No, not at all. I didn't even, I didn't even know what blog... Like, I was like, "What, what is, how do I blog?" Like, "What is the platform?" Like, I didn't even know how to use WordPress.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd And so-
Tim Fulton What were the... How did people sort of discover you, and how did that happen in terms of the community building up around you?
Akia Redd Well, I mean, so my, um, my father, uh, was a pastor.
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm.
Akia Redd A very well-known pastor in the city-
Tim Fulton Okay
Akia Redd ... uh, here in Columbus, 'cause I'm a local here.
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm.
Akia Redd And, um, so I had a lot of people from that particular part of my life that, you know, once they saw me pop up, like, on social media or whatever, like, they w- you know, started to follow me and started reading some things.
Tim Fulton 'Cause you weren't shy about sharing these writings.
Akia Redd No, I wasn't. Not at all. And then I think from a na- more national, international level, um, my husband is a former, former NBA player.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd Um, he played for the Milwaukee Bucks and then his last year for the Phoenix Suns.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd He's a very famous Buckeye, Michael Redd.
Tim Fulton Oh.
Akia Redd Yeah.
Tim Fulton See, I didn't know. Okay.
Akia Redd Yeah. So that, you know, that also, um... Because he's not on social media.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd And he is very private. So that was a very interesting dynamic for me to, like, come full force, like-
Tim Fulton "I'm gonna do this"
Akia Redd ... "I'm sharing it."
Tim Fulton Right.
Akia Redd Yeah. And so it was a very, um, very interesting thing.
Tim Fulton Obviously, that's been resolved at this point. But how, how did that- Talk to me about how that conversation went and of like, have you always been sort of outspoken and out there and, like, that's the dichotomy of your relationship, and so he was just sort of like, "All right, this is what Akeya's doing"?
Akia Redd Yeah.
Tim Fulton Or was it a little bit more hard?
Akia Redd Yeah. Well, I think it was-- I think inside I've always been this super outspoken, you know, young woman.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd And I think that I've always been taught to shrink myself and dial that back.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd And so-
Tim Fulton And that goes back to the external forces that, like church and-
Akia Redd Church and-
Tim Fulton ... being a woman of color and-
Akia Redd Yeah.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd And, you know, in, in the religious community, you're also taught that, you know, women are to be quiet and we're not to be loud, and so that was very different than how I was. Like-
Tim Fulton Okay
Akia Redd ... I wasn't wired that way, but yet I was being taught to be that way. And so one of the things that actually attracted me and Michael, really me to him, is that he looked at me and saw me for who I was, and he encouraged me to use my voice.
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm.
Akia Redd I don't think he actually thought it would come in this form.
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm.
Akia Redd And I don't think that he foresaw these types of struggles and, you know, I didn't even know. I went undiagnosed for years. So, um, but I think that it was something that he always saw in me and knew was gonna happen. He just didn't know when or how.
Tim Fulton Okay. And, and I'm sorry, are you talking about the blog and sort of the self-expression-
Akia Redd The blog and-
Tim Fulton ... or are you talking-
Akia Redd ... you know, just my advocacy, my activism.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd You know, I'm very passionate about whatever I put my mind to do and, um, he knows that I'm very justice-oriented.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd And I've always been like that. Like, that's not something that's just happened overnight. That's just how I've always been hardwired. Um, and I think coming into who I am as a woman, and I think the diagnosis and then realizing that life is really short. And part of-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... the reason why I struggled in silence for so long and I went undiagnosed for so long, and why the illness got to the point where I had a nervous breakdown, was because I was not using my voice.
Tim Fulton Okay. And do you see, maybe this is self-evident, but it-- Was the blogging sort of part of your therapy of like, "This is how I'm gonna get this out"? You know, some people go to therapy.
Akia Redd Yeah.
Tim Fulton Obviously, you were going to therapy.
Akia Redd Right.
Tim Fulton But that was sort of an additional part of it.
Akia Redd Yeah. So my thought process was, "Okay, I'm going to go to therapy," and then for the hundreds of thousands of people, whoever, if even if it was 10 people-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... that was gonna read this blog, not everybody is gonna go to therapy.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd And so I said, "Well, at least, like, the lessons that I'm learning in therapy and the things maybe I can either, one, help kinda nudge them to go to therapy-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... or two, help them with what they're struggling with so that, you know, I'm that one that is that example for them."
Tim Fulton So it's not necessarily a therapeutic thing for you, but it's meant to empower and help others.
Akia Redd Right. Always.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd Yep.
Tim Fulton So walk me through then how it became not just Passing Gas, but became the acronym. Is that sort of the, a not, basically a business opportunity that you were like-
Akia Redd Yeah, yeah
Tim Fulton ... "Okay, here..." A- a- and maybe even a way to define your work-
Akia Redd Right
Tim Fulton ... as you have, you know, you're always gonna struggle to an extent, I imagine.
Akia Redd Right.
Tim Fulton But, uh, talk to me about that and how that evolved.
Akia Redd So I'll never forget that day, actually. My husband and kids and I were on our way to our spring break vacation, and we were in the airport.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd And I remember looking at, um, one of the, one of my Facebook followers from way back, and it was a guy, and he said, "Hey, I know what this stands for." And so he kind of like gave me these four words-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... that didn't really necessarily resonate with me.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd But it put a little seed in my head, and it was just like, man, that would be cool if it were an acronym and that these women could actually have a word or words to hold onto.
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm.
Akia Redd And so I, um, sat down with my family in the airport and I said, "Okay, guys," I said, "We have an hour."
Tim Fulton Let's brainstorm.
Akia Redd I said, "Let's, let's brainstorm." And at the time, I mean, think about it. So my son is, what, 12 now. My daughter is eight and a half, so just subtract three and a half years from that.
Tim Fulton Yeah.
Akia Redd They were very young.
Tim Fulton Yeah.
Akia Redd And, um-
Tim Fulton And did they have any concept of what you were doing?
Akia Redd Yeah.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd Yeah, they thought it was-- They th- actually thought it was hilarious.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd As kids would, but I think they had mad respect, if you will, for just my boldness.
Tim Fulton So, and I'm sorry, this was pretty early on-
Akia Redd Yeah
Tim Fulton ... in the, in, in your blogging.
Akia Redd Even in my treatment-
Tim Fulton Right
Akia Redd ... and in my blog. I mean, I was newly diagnosed.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd And I was, like, new to the medication and new to... Wasn't necessarily new to therapy. I had done therapy for about sh- probably three and a half years undiagnosed. I mean, she-
Tim Fulton Okay
Akia Redd ... I think she knew.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd But she, and she did tell me, you know, "I think we're gonna have to probably seek some medical treatment-
Tim Fulton Yeah
Akia Redd ... for your anxiety stuff." But she never gave it a title.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd And so that allowed me, I was a little bit in denial because of, again, my upbringing-
Tim Fulton Right
Akia Redd ... um, until I couldn't be in denial anymore.
Tim Fulton Okay. So even with therapy, it still sort of manifested-
Akia Redd Oh, yeah, yeah
Tim Fulton ... more.
Akia Redd Absolutely.
Tim Fulton Continued to manifest.
Akia Redd Oh, yeah.
Tim Fulton Yeah.
Akia Redd Absolutely. Absolutely. Um, because life was still happening and, and on top of, like, the trauma that I had as a child. And so I always say that if you don't deal with life, life deals with you.
Tim Fulton Yeah.
Akia Redd And so that was what happened to me. Um, but we sat in the airport and we brainstormed.
Tim Fulton Uh-huh.
Akia Redd And we came up with fearless, authentic, rescuer, and trailblazer, and mainly those four words because it defines the journey that even from diagnosis until that point-
Tim Fulton Okay
Akia Redd ... of definition of the acronym-
Tim Fulton Yeah
Akia Redd ... and even, even now, the work that I continue to do, first and foremost, being fearless in my approach to, one, share my story, and to be fearless to have a platform called Real Girls Fart.
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm.
Akia Redd I mean, that takes some-- That's pretty gutsy.
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm.
Akia Redd You know? And obviously, I mean, nobody's knocking my door down to buy it from me, so
Tim Fulton That's 'cause you're owning it.
Akia Redd You know. But that's what-- Exactly. So- Um, and then the, the authenticity and the realness, I think, behind me as I do share my story and as I talk to women about owning their story.
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm.
Akia Redd And the rescuer, a lot of times that word gets a negative kind of representation because we're always saying you can't go in and you can't, like, rescue people-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... and it gets a negative kind of thing. But I look at being a rescuer as something that is not negative. It's positive actually, because when you're on an airplane, they tell you before you can actually secure the mask of other people-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... that you put yours on, on first, right?
Tim Fulton Yeah.
Akia Redd So you have to first rescue yourself, right? Get yourself together, and then you go back and you help somebody else.
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm.
Akia Redd And there's nothing negative about that. There's only positive I see in that.
Tim Fulton Right.
Akia Redd And, um, I think it only becomes negative when you are helping other people and not serving yourself first.
Tim Fulton Okay. So is the res- would you say then that the rescuer is not really even about other people or is, is there an aspect of that?
Akia Redd I think it's, I think it has this duality where I think it's about first rescuing yourself-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... getting yourself the help that you need, and then you go and you strengthen yourself enough to then go and lift your sister or your brother up. And then once that's done, we all come back together and we can blaze a trail. We can do something that's never been done before.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd And so that's where the acronym came from.
Tim Fulton So even in, in this-- Thank you for making this segue for me. Even in sort of that self-empowerment journey, there is a community around you.
Akia Redd 170%.
Tim Fulton And that's where almost the R and the T come from.
Akia Redd Yes.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. You-- I would be, I would be a hot mess right now and not where I am at all today if I did not recognize my tribe-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... that surrounded me. And the interesting thing about it is, is that what I'm even learning and journeying forward and kind of diving deeper even into my work-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... is that the tribe that I had three and a half, four years ago when I first got diagnosed, and the tribe that I have around me now or that's surrounding me now-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... it, it can look different.
Tim Fulton Yeah.
Akia Redd As we evolve and as we grow, I think sometimes, like, people can got, kinda get caught up on, you know, "Well, I don't want this to change," and the, their attachments become so, like, clingy and unhealthy. And we have to understand that as we evolve and as we change and as we find our voice and who we are-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... and become empowered, our tribe and our community will evolve with us.
Tim Fulton Okay. And so that sort of le- because-- So you put out a book this summer.
Akia Redd Yeah.
Tim Fulton "Be Free, Be You."
Akia Redd Yeah.
Tim Fulton And a lot of that, it seems, at least from what I've read of it, is about relationships too.
Akia Redd Yeah.
Tim Fulton Right?
Akia Redd Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Tim Fulton Can you talk to me about the inspiration for the b- I mean, does it talk about your mental health journey as well?
Akia Redd Mm-hmm.
Tim Fulton Talk-- Give me, give me the pitch on the book.
Akia Redd Well, yeah, it does talk a lot about my mental health journey. I, I use a lot of humor and I, I talk a lot about my personal life-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... growing up, because I wanted to really set the stage for individuals to understand, like, you know, I, I do have-- There is a biological component to-
Tim Fulton Okay
Akia Redd ... my mental illness.
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm.
Akia Redd Like, I understand that, like, everything in my life right now, um, is beautiful.
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm.
Akia Redd But, like, the moment that I try to, like, go off of my medication, not so beautiful.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd So I do understand that there are like, there's like this balancing act and where I, I have some trauma stuff, um, and then I also have a biological component.
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm.
Akia Redd So in the book, I don't focus, like, too much attention on one or the other. I try to, like, merge the two, and I talk about how it... Really, I do that because I want people to understand that it doesn't matter really where the mental disorder or illness comes from. If it's there-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... like, let's go to work and let's deal with it. And for me, um, in the book, relationships, because I, I think all of us as humans are just relational beings. We all have a need-
Tim Fulton Yeah
Akia Redd ... to relate to each other-
Tim Fulton Yeah
Akia Redd ... and, and be related to. And, um, for me, a lot of the, the experiences that I had that were negative were as a resu- of a result of, you know, failed relationships.
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm.
Akia Redd And, um, in all honesty, n-me not using my voice as, not only as a woman, but as a person, as a human-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... um, in those relationships to say, "Hey, like, this doesn't feel good. This is not serving me right." And what happens is, and what happened to me, is that as I lived in silence, that affected me to a place where whatever was biologically not connecting the right way-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... it actually traumatized me even further.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd And so I talk about a lot of that in the book. I talk about... I do use a lot of, um, scripture references just because for those that are listening that may not know my background, I'm a preacher's kid.
Tim Fulton Yeah.
Akia Redd And so as a part of my journey, for me, faith has been, um, a bittersweet thing for me.
Tim Fulton Yeah.
Akia Redd Like, I grew up in it, and that-- And, and I'm not gonna lie, like, the church and faith, like, traumatized me a whole lot.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd And so as I, um, went through what I went through and, and got diagnosed and none of what I learned in church helped me at that point-
Tim Fulton Okay
Akia Redd ... I got really bitter and really angry at God. And then somehow in the process of all of the therapy and the medication and the healing and realizing that it wasn't God, it was, like, people's versions of God-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... and how they presented him to me. And so that's why I use so many scriptures because I'm like, "Okay, this is what this means to me. This is how it relates to me." But I also give a caveat in the book. I say, "Man, if you're not a religious person, a spiritual person, just look past that because there's so much more In-depth kind of information you can take away from the book besides just the scripture.
Tim Fulton And did you keep a relationship with the church while this was all going on, or did you sort of... It sounds like you're back with the church now. I'm just curious if sort of it was a time outside of the church and then you realized, "Oh, I can be there," or are you talking about sort of just an evolving relation- Not, I'm not demeaning it at all-
Akia Redd No, no, no, not at all
Tim Fulton ... but an evolving relationship.
Akia Redd No. I think for me it was more so an evolving relationship. I am not, you know, affiliated with any church-
Tim Fulton Okay
Akia Redd ... um, right now. Um, my husband and I do, like, what we call, like, a small group-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... from time to time, and we meet and we talk about life and, you know, the Bible may come up, it may not come up-
Tim Fulton Yeah
Akia Redd ... but we just talk about life. And to me, community, fellowshipping with each other, is really what it's all about, showing love-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... and inclusion of people. I think that's really what it's all about. And so, um, I don't, I don't necessarily call mys- I'm not a religious person.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd I just know that I do believe in God. I'm a person of faith and-
Tim Fulton Well, and you reference scripture in your book.
Akia Redd Yeah. And I-
Tim Fulton I mean, it's, I-
Akia Redd Yeah.
Tim Fulton You are a religious person.
Akia Redd Well, right.
Tim Fulton You're just not a member of a church.
Akia Redd Not a member of a church.
Tim Fulton Right.
Akia Redd And I'm not... And I think for me when I say a religious person, I look at it like sometimes religion or religious person can be associated with, like, this dogma-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... of like, you cannot, you should not. And that's why I kinda try to separate myself from that because for me, my relationship to the scripture is from a evolving relationship that I personally have with God, not from what I learned in the church.
Tim Fulton Right. That's interesting. So I wanted to circle back on something you referenced earlier with your kids. Like, they knew what you were doing.
Akia Redd Yeah.
Tim Fulton And, you know, I just, full disclosure, you know, my mother had mental health issues and, like, that was something I remember very specifically when that was presented to me-
Akia Redd Yeah
Tim Fulton ... as like, this is what I'm going through.
Akia Redd Mm-hmm.
Tim Fulton This is, this is the trauma aspect of it. This is the medical aspect of it.
Akia Redd Exactly.
Tim Fulton And that was super important-
Akia Redd Yeah
Tim Fulton ... and, and helpful to learn. I'm curious how that conversation happened in your house.
Akia Redd Well, it, it sounds very similar-
Tim Fulton Okay
Akia Redd ... to the conversation that your mom had with you. And, um, my, both of my kids, um, are, you know, diagnosed with attention deficit disorder, which is, you know, obviously it's a learning disability.
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm.
Akia Redd It's not really a mental, you know, health disorder per se.
Tim Fulton Yeah.
Akia Redd That it can kind of, you know, have some anxiety and things like that. Um, but my son actually, you know, middle school is... I, I've never met anybody who's ever said, "I love middle school." So middle school has been, you know, rough.
Tim Fulton Yeah.
Akia Redd And it, and it, you know, from as long as I can remember, it's always been rough. So he, um, he went through his own stuff.
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm.
Akia Redd And I started seeing, um, some things surface with him that made me say, "Huh, I probably need to go get him, you know, check- checked out." And so-
Tim Fulton Yeah
Akia Redd ... that caused me to have even a, a more deep dive with him about the mental health discussion and like, "How are you feeling today?"
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm.
Akia Redd And like, you know, any thoughts of this, any thoughts of that-
Tim Fulton Yeah
Akia Redd ... hurting yourself, you know. Just because with Real Gurlz fart, the platform, we're trying to turn this into a dinner table conversation, right?
Tim Fulton Yeah.
Akia Redd Like, this is just an everyday thing. Like, this happens just like we talk to kids about diabetes and heart disease.
Tim Fulton Yeah.
Akia Redd We wanna be able to talk to them about mental illness.
Tim Fulton Yeah.
Akia Redd And, um, and as we start to see the statistics rise, like, that's gonna be an even more important conversation. And then also, not just the mental illness aspect of it, but the importance of self-care-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... loving themselves, finding their voices, using their voices in appropriate ways.
Tim Fulton Yeah. Well, and the initiative at Nationwide Children's Hospital is a testament to that as well.
Akia Redd Right.
Tim Fulton On Our Sleeves. On Our Sleeves? Is that what it's called?
Akia Redd Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd Mm-hmm. Good job.
Tim Fulton Oh, thanks. I remember numbers, too. Um, I guess sort, I guess sort of what I'm asking is, is did they get it and did they understand it?
Akia Redd Yes. They, they did.
Tim Fulton Even that young.
Akia Redd Yeah, they did. Um, one of the things that I was very careful... Vocabulary with children is everything.
Tim Fulton Yep.
Akia Redd So, but we also can't treat children like they're idiots and that they don't know anything. Trust and believe that they know. Like, when people, when parents ask me, "Well, like, how do you know when it's the right time?" Well, then you've already passed it.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd If you're asking me that question of like, how do I know when it's the right time, well, now is the right time. You've... It's been the right time.
Tim Fulton Yeah.
Akia Redd So I say that to say that with vocabulary with my children, like, I let them know that there's a difference between depression and sadness. There's a difference-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... between being nervous and anxiety.
Tim Fulton Yep.
Akia Redd So we have to, like, use proper terminology for things-
Tim Fulton Yeah
Akia Redd ... so that when they come home from school and they say, um, "You know, I had a really bad day," it- they know the difference between, "And I'm sad."
Tim Fulton Yeah.
Akia Redd But they also understand that if that sadness or that numbness or that feeling of, like, nothing continues-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... that that's something that like, okay, um, this is depression.
Tim Fulton Yeah.
Akia Redd That's what that looks like. So I think just being very open with them, very, um, particular-
Tim Fulton So you're saying regular, rather than basically sugarcoat it-
Akia Redd Oh, God, yeah
Tim Fulton ... and say like, "What's wrong with Mom?" "Well, Mommy's sad."
Akia Redd Yeah, that's the worst thing-
Tim Fulton No
Akia Redd ... you could do because-
Tim Fulton Yeah
Akia Redd ... it, it reinforces the stigma-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... and the lack of education surrounding mental illness.
Tim Fulton Yeah. Exactly. Absolutely. So we're here actually on the occasion of the event that you're, uh, gonna be speaking at.
Akia Redd Yeah.
Tim Fulton October 17th, uh, Activists and Agitators at YWCA.
Akia Redd So excited.
Tim Fulton Which is their annual evening fundraiser.
Akia Redd Mm-hmm.
Tim Fulton Can you sort of talk about what folks can expect at that event and what, what it's all about?
Akia Redd Sure. So, well, I mean, I'll be there first and foremost, as you said.
Tim Fulton The Akia Red. Tell people what they can expect at the event as a whole, in addition to your keynote.
Akia Redd Yeah. Okay. So on the evening, I'll be talking about how women can find their voices, not only, like, within the community. I know that that's a huge aspect, obviously, because it's called Activists and Agitators.
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm.
Akia Redd And I do see myself as somebody who is activating and agitating in the community. Um, but I, I do think we also want women to understand f- after this evening, how they can find their voices in their own personal lives-
Tim Fulton Okay
Akia Redd ... in their own spheres of influence. And it doesn't have to be necessarily be on a big stage or a huge community thing. How can I find my voice in my relationship with my partner? How can I find my voice in my space with my kids or in my classroom with my students? Like, whatever space that these event attendees are occupying-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... how can they find their voice? How can they let it out and into the community and make change that really matters? Um, and I think it's gonna be amazing because I'm also gonna be surrounded with other fearlessly powerful women.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd Uh, I mean, who doesn't love, like, Jeni from Jeni's Ice Cream, right? Like-
Tim Fulton Jeni Britton Bauer
Akia Redd ... I wish she's bringing, like, some, you know, ice cream samples. That would be awesome as, like, some swag. Like-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... some Jeni swag. But then also Fran from Rise, Sister Rise, right? And I've never had the, the privilege of meeting her, but I, like, started stalking her on social.
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm.
Akia Redd And, like, her initiative is absolutely amazing. And then also Nina West will be performing and also will be speaking as well. And I f- I think the overall, again, theme of the night is how all of us have found our voices-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... and how we've been so lucky to have been able to let 'em out in the community to make change.
Tim Fulton Yeah. And so i- I assume that speak- this is not your first rodeo in terms of, like, speaking at an event.
Akia Redd No.
Tim Fulton Okay. How-
Akia Redd Not, well, uh, mmm, outside of church, yes.
Tim Fulton Oh, okay. So-
Akia Redd Yeah
Tim Fulton ... 'cause I was gonna ask how else has the, this, I'm gonna call it a movement-
Akia Redd Mm-hmm
Tim Fulton ... how else has it manifested in addition to there's the blog-
Akia Redd Yeah
Tim Fulton ... there's the social media interaction-
Akia Redd Mm-hmm
Tim Fulton ... that you do. There's the book.
Akia Redd Yeah.
Tim Fulton But this is sort of the biggest-
Akia Redd The-
Tim Fulton ... public appearance.
Akia Redd Yes. As far as me and Real Girls Fart being featured as, like, the feature speaker-
Tim Fulton Yeah
Akia Redd ... yes. Which makes YWCA such an amazing partner, because we've joined up, like, synced up, and our initiatives are very much aligned.
Tim Fulton Yeah.
Akia Redd Now, um, this past summer with Nationwide Children's On Our Sleeves, I was the keynote for the, um, Woody Hayes-
Tim Fulton Okay
Akia Redd ... and the, uh, Pay It Forward Gala. But that was more so focused on, you know, the On Our Sleeves. This particular event on October 17th is like, okay, YWCA-
Tim Fulton It's about empowering women
Akia Redd ... Akia Red.
Tim Fulton Right.
Akia Redd Like, we're coming together. We're gonna help empower these women and, like, set them on fire, and that's really what it's about.
Tim Fulton Great. And so what, are there additional things that, the way this movement is manifesting then? I- is it pre- Uh, am I hitting the three legs of the stool, I guess? Is it, you know, the blog, social media-
Akia Redd Yeah
Tim Fulton ... and the book?
Akia Redd Yeah. The blog, social media, the book. Book two will be out in the fall.
Tim Fulton Oh, wow.
Akia Redd Yeah, so basically what I've, what I've done is after experiencing what I experienced with my son, who's a middle schooler, and the stories that I hear from the women-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... that have, you know, kids that are Michael's age, my son's age-
Tim Fulton Yeah
Akia Redd ... and they're girls, "Oh my gosh, my daughter," you know. And, and the book is not overly complicated to where a middle schooler can read it.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd However, in the middle school edition of the book, because we know that mental illness, those diagnoses tend to spike at the age 12.
Tim Fulton Yeah.
Akia Redd And in particular, eating disorders, you see a huge rise in that.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd So I thought that it would be just amazing for us to be able to write a book that focuses more in depth on specific things and really honing in on that vocabulary, which, what we talked about-
Tim Fulton Okay
Akia Redd ... a few minutes ago, um, to give these girls vocabulary, wording, also affirmations, activities.
Tim Fulton So this is a book f- this is not a parenting book. This is a book for-
Akia Redd No, this is a middle-
Tim Fulton Okay
Akia Redd ... for, specifically for middle school girls.
Tim Fulton Got it.
Akia Redd And there will be girls that, I mean, as we see statistics starting to drop lower in the age range, there can be girls that, you know, have a, a higher reading level that could probably, like-
Tim Fulton Yeah
Akia Redd ... decide to read it if they were 9. But specifically, we're focusing on girls probably between the ages of 12, 15.
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm.
Akia Redd Yeah.
Tim Fulton That's great. That's great.
Akia Redd Yeah. So.
Tim Fulton Cool.
Akia Redd So because of the book that I started writing for middle schooler-
Tim Fulton Mm-hmm
Akia Redd ... or middle school girls, it also set me up to start this foundation called the Real Girls Foundation.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd Which is a nonprofit, obviously, form of Real Girls Fart, but it is very separate, you know.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd Again, but it just, um, I did have that idea to start that because I wanted to be able to provide programming for middle school girls to tie in with the book that will be released in the fall.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd Which is another great thing that aligns me with the YWCA as well, because they've just revamped their program, Bright Futures, and that is specifically for middle school girls as well.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd So we are hoping that you will see more of us together in the future.
Tim Fulton Fantastic. And so what's the, is the funding from the book going into the foundation? Like, how's that?
Akia Redd Yeah, so pretty much, um, what you're talking about with Real Girls Fart, right?
Tim Fulton I'm talking about the Real Girls-
Akia Redd And the Real Girls Foundation
Tim Fulton ... Foundation, yeah.
Akia Redd Yeah. So one, we haven't decided that yet.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd We haven't talked about the details of that yet and what our partnership will look like in terms of Bright Futures, but, um, and Real Girls Foundation. But I think that We're gonna have a lot of great synergy where that is concerned.
Tim Fulton Cool. That makes sense that you're raising funds for your foundation. Where do the funds for the e- that evening on October 17th go?
Akia Redd So the funding for the Activists and Agitators go to the Bright Futures program and also their other program called the Leadership for Social Change.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd Which is for women particularly just starting out their careers.
Tim Fulton Okay.
Akia Redd So both very wonderful causes. I'm excited to be a part of it.
Tim Fulton Well, and certainly aligned with what you're doing, so.
Akia Redd Yeah, I can't be more excited. It's amazing.
Tim Fulton Good. Akia, thank you so much for your time.
Akia Redd Thank you for having me, Tim.
Tim Fulton Thank you for listening to the Confluence Cast presented by Columbus Underground. Again, you can get more information on what we discussed today in the show notes for this episode at theconfluencecast.com. Please rate, subscribe, share this episode of the Confluence Cast with your friends, family, contacts, enemies, your favorite blogger. If you're interested in sponsoring the Confluence Cast, get in touch with us. We can be reached by email at info@theconfluencecast.com. Our theme music was composed by Benji Robinson. Our producer is Philip Cogley. I'm your host, Tim Fulton. Have a great week.